Thursday, July 1, 2021

Los Angeles, I’m Yours

Many moons ago, I wrote that I was planning to be in Kyrgyzstan by June 2021.  And here we are, the first day in July and I am in… Santa Monica!  Still!  Making plans this past year has been like making wishes..

The Peace Corps recently announced that we would be delayed until “2022”.  No specifics on when in 2022 either.  Yet I have been feeling more committed and connected to Kyrgyzstan, mostly through a number of Kyrgyz language exchange partners through whom I get to sample a little of Kyrgyz life, and with whom I’m honored to be friends.  As far as I can plan, I’m still planning to go.

In the meantime, I got into a large-ish car accident in May.  I don’t remember the accident itself, but one minute I was turning onto an unremarkable street in LA on a Saturday afternoon, and the next, I woke up in an ambulance thinking “something is wrong.”  It felt like a science fiction movie when people wake up in another reality and don’t know how they got there.

Apparently I had run a very red light and was hit by a very large tow truck.  I was very lucky to escape any permanent injury:  I had a concussion, a cut over my eye (but no vision loss!), a punctured lung, and a broken collarbone.  And no car.

I spent a week at the LA County/USC hospital, cared for by some very compassionate and hard-working people and family and friends who called and texted so I didn’t feel alone despite the COVID-based prohibition of visitors.  The entry way to this new reality was full of love and care, yet also full of new limitations.  And the miracle of the healing process meant I experienced gradual and noticeable widening of these boundaries, and was conscious of each new ability gained:  the ability to sit up by myself, to go to the bathroom on my own, to move things around the hospital room, to take walk down the hall, to go down some stairs.

This small world expanded slightly when I returned home to my family.  And I noticed when I stopped having headaches, when it didn’t hurt to cough, when I could lift my arm higher, when my eye returned to being white..  It was like a legion of little workers (cells) were 24/7 at repairs in my body while I lay there reading or listening to music.  They knew what to do and how to do it, even as I felt very unfamiliar and unaware of what to do or how to do it.

As the weeks went by, I felt my energy coming back and applied for a part time job at a flower shop.  I was looking forward to getting back into the world!  However, shortly after, I tripped on some steps and re-fractured my collarbone.  It was extremely frustrating and disappointing, like my world shrunk again. Yet, it was also a chance to stop and recalibrate.  I realized I had an instinct to fill my time, but I also had a desire to pursue art and creativity—which strangely, needed lots of Unfilled time to bloom.  It felt like a fork in the road, and a chance to choose.  And so I chose art, and I am so happy I did!

These days now feel like a rare blessing, encircled by my injuries to keep me from straying away.  I am meandering down winding creative paths and slowly exploring Los Angeles, my new home..  One of these paths is to figure out Procreate on my iPad.  Digital art is a whole new medium with so many mind-bending possibilities.  I’d like to share with you one recent attempt, which is a map of my world these days.  I think it relates to this post because it both maps the smallness of my world:  the lines in the middle are the LA Metro Map, which marks the limits of my physical world, and the largeness:  the outlines represent the cities, states, and countries of my friends and language partners who take me to their homes on a regular basis.

I hope my next post will shed more light on when I can physically be in Kyrgyzstan!  Until then, be well!